And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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