But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
