She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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