The maid of honor just puked.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
