Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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