My first STD was from a foam party
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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