Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
