We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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