I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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