Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
