i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
