Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
