the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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