I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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