have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
