Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize