you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize