It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
