Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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