I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
