the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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