I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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