have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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