just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
