i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We need to get me chipped asap
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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