I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize