this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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