Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
