if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
