Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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