Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I need moral support for this bender
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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