After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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