She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
