then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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