C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
