my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
