It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So much rum. So many feels.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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