I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
