How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
