chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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