he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
