i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
