Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
