it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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