Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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