Please, let me fuck your mom
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
