I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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