He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
