no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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