I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
