I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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