Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
