oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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