You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
