My sheets look like a crime scene.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
