Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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