i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
