Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
