redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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