Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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