Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
