she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
