I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
