just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
